Fewer than half of your cars run.Momma taught you how to flip a cigarette.More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.The Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.There are more than five McDonald’s bags currently on the floorboard of your car.There has ever been crime-scene tape on your front [...]
LAW 1: No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summer and, eventually, a lifetime.LAW 2: Your best round of golf will be followed [...]
Sent in by Jon,
We men always hear “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. Finally!! So these are OUR rules! Please note, these rules are numbered in the order of priority. Share these with your wives!!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If [...]
Submitted by Carol.
1. You must first learn to pronounce the name, it is: “FLAAAAARIDA”.
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 AM to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 8:00 PM. Friday’s rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On I-95 your speed [...]
Sent in via Email from Scotty
Last year a friend of mine upgraded from Girlfriend 4.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it’s a memory hog leaving few system resources for other applications. He is also now noticing the Wife 1.0 is also spawning Child-processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular [...]
Send in by Dale08 via Email.
10. Rehearsal Dinner Held At Hooters
9. Instead Of “Friends Of The Bride Or
Friends Of The Groom?” Ushers Ask “Ford
Or Chevy?”
8. Bridesmaids: Pink Tube Tops
Bridegrooms: Travis Tritt T-Shirts
7. Phrase “I Do” Replaced By “I Heard
That”
6. Tender Rendition Of “The Wedding
Song” Performed By Pinkard & Bowden
5. When Minister Asks [...]
By Tony Via Email.
Dear Wife,During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days. The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:
Sent in by meno32
A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices sign out of the corner of his eye. It reads: Sisters of St. Francis House of Prostitution, 10 Miles.
He thinks it’s a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought. Soon he sees another sign, which says: [...]
Lesson One:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit
saw the eagle and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing?”
The eagle answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground
below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on
the rabbit and [...]
Sent in by Greg:
The Code of Man Laws. The International Council of Man Laws, Ltd.
1: Under NO circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances: (a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master. (b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her [...]
