Kevins Crate.com/Blog

Be careful where you flash them.

Here are some common types of computer viruses. I think we’ve all experienced one or two of these in the past. Thanks to Paul for sending it in.
1. Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
2. Airline virus: You’re in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
3. Arnold [...]

This joke of the week was sent in by TomC
Backup - What you do when you sight a skunk in the woods.
Bar code - Them’s the fight’n rules down da local tavern.
Bug - The reason you is a giv’n for calling in sick.
Byte - What yer pit bull dun to cusin Jethro.
Cache - Needed [...]

CORPORATE DIRECTIVE NUMBER 88-570471
In order to increase the security of all company computing facilities, and to avoid the possibility of unauthorized use of these facilities, new rules are being put into effect concerning the selection of passwords. All users of computing facilities are instructed to change their passwords to conform to these rules immediately.
RULES [...]

An artist, a lawyer, and a computer scientist are discussing the merits of a mistress. The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered. The lawyer warns of the difficulties. It can lead to guilt, divorce, bankruptcy. Not worth it. Too many problems. The computer scientist says [...]

An oldie but a goodie. sent in by Stan33.
If Microsoft ran Christmas…Each time you bought an ornament, you would have to buy a tree as well. You wouldn’t have to take the tree, but you still have to pay for it anyway. Ornament/95 would weigh 1500 pounds (requiring a reinforced steel countertop tree), draw [...]

  Sent in by Billy Ray
10. The monitor is up on blocks.
9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them.
8. The six front keys have rotted out.
7. The extra RAM slots have truck parts installed in them.
6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six.
5. The password is “Huntin”.
4. The CPU has a gun rack mount.
3. [...]

HUSBAND 1.0 There are a lot of pressures to upgrade from Boyfriend 6.0 to Husband 1.0. However before doing so make sure you understand the implications of this change…
For one, system activity will be severely limited and you will be compelled to instigate rigorous daily routines in space management, garbage disposal and disc cleaning [...]

Cnn.com has a funny article Titled Phantom vibrations shake ‘crackberry’ addicts and I thought it just me.
If your hipbone is connected to your BlackBerry or your thighbone is connected to your cell phone, those vibrations you’re feeling in the car, in your pajamas, in the shower, may be coming from your headbone.
“It’s like, [...]

Fewer than half of your cars run.Momma taught you how to flip a cigarette.More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.The Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.There are more than five McDonald’s bags currently on the floorboard of your car.There has ever been crime-scene tape on your front [...]