My girlfriend always laughs during sex –no matter what she’s reading.
Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)

Don’t knock masturbation – it’s sex with someone I love.
Woody Allen

Lord, grant me chastity and continence… but not yet.
St. Augustine

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
Tom Clancy

You know “that look” women get when they want sex? Me neither.
Steve Martin

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.
Woody Allen

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Rodney Dangerfield

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL.
Lynn Lavner

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
George Burns

Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.
George Burns

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships
Sharon Stone

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
Jack Nicholson

Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.
Robin Williams

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.
Roseanne